Is this… the internet?

It’s been so long since I’ve emerged from under the cozy rock of reality that I’ve been living under for the better part of this year. Periodically, I would peer out into the light to catch Marc’s sympathetic gaze nearly enticing me back to the fold before Nick’s violent, harsh, scathing chastising would send me hurling back down towards the dark. But can I lay some truth on y’all? Y’all’s been winning too much and you need a loser in your midst to bring the median down to acceptable levels or whatever.

Before you go pooping your collective pants with thoughts of telling me how wrong I am with opinions of Khadoran tactics or list production or what game we’re suppose to be playing let me say that my return to WM is a veritable toe to frigid waters at best. BUT…

… to encourage said return thus facilitating a raging hard-on in Marc’s camp, let me drop a gift for a lucky, amazing person who’s been devoted enough to grace us with their presence during our Twitch streams: a one-of-a-kind portrait of their favourite caster/solo. Sure we’ll have to figure out a raffle system but isn’t this the age of technology and integration? I’m confident that in the next few days wires will drape out of my skull to some sort of battery pack feeding information to the NSA about Pokemon thus allowing the Clintons to capture them all and welcome a new age of slavery and sorcery. In addition to that stay tuned in the next few weeks for a meticulously crafted winter board complete with custom control zones, objectives and terrain!

Podcast 066 – Circle vs Khador – eMorvhana vs Vlad1 – I’m on a Goat!

This was my last battle with Khador for a while not counting Adepticon. After that sweaty weekend I foresee being completely sick of Khador, if not all of Warmachine, and also the horror of meeting new people and being nice to them instead of pointing out their various physical flaws.

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(Marc: I sincerely hope Aaron sticks with WarMachine post-Adepticon… he’s definitely the soul of our podcast! Or possibly the spleen… almost as important! Some weird audio issues with the podcast this week… hopefully all corrected, but the recording is a bit below our usual quality as a result. Sounds kinda “washed out”. Anyway, I’ll see about fixing it later, but for now, hopefully you can enjoy it anyway!)


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Podcast 066 – Circle vs Khador – eMorvhana vs Vlad1 – I'm on a Goat!

This was my last battle with Khador for a while not counting Adepticon. After that sweaty weekend I foresee being completely sick of Khador, if not all of Warmachine, and also the horror of meeting new people and being nice to them instead of pointing out their various physical flaws.

deployment khador
(Marc: I sincerely hope Aaron sticks with WarMachine post-Adepticon… he’s definitely the soul of our podcast! Or possibly the spleen… almost as important! Some weird audio issues with the podcast this week… hopefully all corrected, but the recording is a bit below our usual quality as a result. Sounds kinda “washed out”. Anyway, I’ll see about fixing it later, but for now, hopefully you can enjoy it anyway!)


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Podcast 055 – What? How is 'podcast' underlined in red?

Seriously. Facebook is so entrenched in our vernacular that the program recognizes it as a word yet typing podcast deeply confuses it. This is why I have no fear of the Matrix ever happening. If a simple blog – blog also isn’t recognized, by the way – gets perplexed by words that have been around for years then there is no conceivable way towers of human batteries are in our future.
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It just occurred to me now that every time a person got pregnant, the robots would have to build a new pod for that person to go into or at least have a vacant one for the new person to occupy. Because birthrates outweigh death rates, the robots would have to keep building new ones. I’m sure that would get really aggravating for the robot management. They’d be like, “Man, these humans would be a lot less of a strain on our raw materials and construction if they could just stop fucking.”


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On the Subject of Pain(t)

So since – I don’t know… the spring? – I’ve been working on the Skorne colossal, the Mammoth. If any of you out there are considering playing or already play Skorne and have thoughts of picking up the Mammoth, may I suggest these very simple steps for painting it: 1) immediately regret it. 2) cry. 3) more regret. It’s not that the model is bad or poorly sculpted, in this particular instance I offered to paint the model; one which I could not actually play as it’s a different faction. The owner of said Mammoth, the infamous Kassem, even offered to pay for the paint which I would use but I refused; a decision I would later realise was the only thing that would have kept me in the green.

I liken painting the Mammoth to offering to take a cursed monkey’s hand off a friend: they would obviously agree but when they try to explain the curse, you dismiss them waving your hand saying, “Yeah, yeah, yeah I know what a cursed monkey’s hand is.” But oh no. No you don’t. Not yet.

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Podcast 047 – Khador vs Cryx, Harkevich vs eGoreshade – All the leaves are brown/ and the skies are gray…

This week’s report was without Nick, but since it was between Aaron’s Khador and Adam’s Cryx, he basically would just basically make snarky comments all podcast…

Actually, that’s what he does most of the time. Hmmm.
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Also in this week’s podcast, Adam outlines the “Fundamental Tactic of Cryx”, Aaron is reminded about how awful “Creeping Barage” is (seriously… POW6!? Useful against, what, exactly, besides Kayazy Assassins!?), and Marc keeps everything moving at a healthy clip to avoid his laptop running out of batteries and all of our work being wasted! Fun!

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Podcast 039 – pMakeda vs Old Witch – Fire is Menoth's thing, Skorne! Get a New Thing!

(Marc: Due to a wedding Aaron attended, the battle report is a tiny bit late… with my apologies!)
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I was the only one who cried at the wedding. The ONLY one. Their parents didn’t even cry.


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Podcast 039 – pMakeda vs Old Witch – Fire is Menoth’s thing, Skorne! Get a New Thing!

(Marc: Due to a wedding Aaron attended, the battle report is a tiny bit late… with my apologies!)
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I was the only one who cried at the wedding. The ONLY one. Their parents didn’t even cry.


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Podcast 037 – Today’s game made possible in part by Small World with cooperation by Cosmic Encounter

This week was a game against Khador and Skorne. I only took a bunch of pictures and I wasn’t recording the play-by-play. Marc told me to and I didn’t. *shrugging* I don’t know what you want me to say. You come into my house, ask me politely to record the game for the podcast, I agree then refrain from doing it because the game starts going badly and I’m to blame? No. Not on my watch. This is entirely Marc’s fault. He clearly said beforehand “we’ll play the games and whichever one is better, we’ll use.” This was witnessed by three other people and two cats. I had the veteran experience to see that my game was going badly and therefore gave up, allowing Marc to move ahead into the winners circle of games-being-played-that-night-to-use-on-the-next-podcast.
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Podcast 037 – Today's game made possible in part by Small World with cooperation by Cosmic Encounter

This week was a game against Khador and Skorne. I only took a bunch of pictures and I wasn’t recording the play-by-play. Marc told me to and I didn’t. *shrugging* I don’t know what you want me to say. You come into my house, ask me politely to record the game for the podcast, I agree then refrain from doing it because the game starts going badly and I’m to blame? No. Not on my watch. This is entirely Marc’s fault. He clearly said beforehand “we’ll play the games and whichever one is better, we’ll use.” This was witnessed by three other people and two cats. I had the veteran experience to see that my game was going badly and therefore gave up, allowing Marc to move ahead into the winners circle of games-being-played-that-night-to-use-on-the-next-podcast.
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