Battle Report Podcast 088: eVyros (Not-Darrell) vs Amon Ad-Raza (Not-Todd) – How much jack would a warjack jack if a warjack could jack jack?

eVyrosVsAmonHello again wonderful readers!  We’ve got something different for you this time around.  We’ve been doing a lot of tournament battle reports, serious list reflection and a lot of competitive play.  For this report then we decided that we needed some serious stress relief, and what better way to relieve stress than with a jack off?  Wait a minute, that didn’t come out right…


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Podcast 084 – Protectorate of Menoth (Anson Durst) vs Retribution (Lord Arcanist Ossyan) – Rock'em and Warjack in a Sock'em

combosmitebatrepVSAnother battle report coming your way from the COMBO SMITE crew.  This week Darrell (aka Not-Todd) took a break from his Trollbloods and busted out his Protectorate forces to face off against Todd (aka Not-Darrell) and his Retribution in a 50pt battle.


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Podcast 084 – Protectorate of Menoth (Anson Durst) vs Retribution (Lord Arcanist Ossyan) – Rock’em and Warjack in a Sock’em

combosmitebatrepVSAnother battle report coming your way from the COMBO SMITE crew.  This week Darrell (aka Not-Todd) took a break from his Trollbloods and busted out his Protectorate forces to face off against Todd (aka Not-Darrell) and his Retribution in a 50pt battle.


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On the Subject of Pain(t)

So since – I don’t know… the spring? – I’ve been working on the Skorne colossal, the Mammoth. If any of you out there are considering playing or already play Skorne and have thoughts of picking up the Mammoth, may I suggest these very simple steps for painting it: 1) immediately regret it. 2) cry. 3) more regret. It’s not that the model is bad or poorly sculpted, in this particular instance I offered to paint the model; one which I could not actually play as it’s a different faction. The owner of said Mammoth, the infamous Kassem, even offered to pay for the paint which I would use but I refused; a decision I would later realise was the only thing that would have kept me in the green.

I liken painting the Mammoth to offering to take a cursed monkey’s hand off a friend: they would obviously agree but when they try to explain the curse, you dismiss them waving your hand saying, “Yeah, yeah, yeah I know what a cursed monkey’s hand is.” But oh no. No you don’t. Not yet.

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Painting is ruining my body.

So I was coerced into helping build a shed a few weeks ago with the promise of Warmachine as payment. I had asked if I could be paid in money as I was deep in debt to the local branch of the Hell’s Angels and any amount would help me keep the organs that they had threatened to relieve me of should I not pay them. He said I was working for Warmachine or for free, it was my choice, so I took the Warmachine.

I tried explaining that to Ulrich whom I owed the money to and asked if he could be paid in pewter. He responded by spitting in my face and throwing me down a flight of concrete stairs. As I lay at the bottom of the stairs groaning and wiping the spit – more nicotine than saliva, really – from my face, I began to laugh. “You fool!” I gurgled, “You’ve damaged my organs beyond repair! What worth are they to you now? No one will buy them!” He proceeded to spend the next few minutes explaining that they weren’t literally going to harvest my organs but rather it was an extreme example of physical punishment that could be exacted upon me should I not fulfill my half of the contract. He added a lengthy list of other punishment I could endure in place of the removal of my internal organs, most of which involved smashing my testicles and penis with a roofing hammer.

As I was bleeding so profusely from the ears he started to feel bad and declared being thrown down a stairwell was payment enough for the ten bus tickets he had bought me the week before. Later at the hospital the doctor would proclaim that I was the first person ever to by on every single organ donation waiting list. As such I had plenty of down time to paint the in progress and new pieces that I had which were holding up my non-Warmachine related art.

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Behemoth… EXTREME!!! To the max

As I had mentioned in podcast 002 (I think, it was such a long time ago) I was going to purchase Behemoth and an Extreme Juggernaut to combine them into the legendary Extremeth. Extremoth? I’ll bounce back and forth. Anyway, that time has come and already passed as I stare up at my nearly full shelves of Warmachine miniatures newly weighed down by the girth of a completed and fully operational Extremeth. Did you read that in the Emperors voice? I did.

As I also mentioned in the podcast someone on the PP forums had brought up me doing a demo of how I did the rust effects on my ‘jacks and true to my word, I will do that. I actually think he/she(?) was referring to the rust effect I use for my non-character ‘Jacks but this will be my character ‘Jack effect which is no less fun. I was going to do a blow-by-blow of how I modded the two ‘Jacks together and even started taking photos of the preproduction but then at some point along the way forgot which threw the whole thing out the window. I got the necessary process shots for the painting but I’ll still do a short summary of the trials and tribulations of the modding process.

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Paintectorate of Menoth – Harbinger Part 2

So my efforts to finish the Harbinger with her slightly modified attendants continues!

It’s getting a little hard to see the differences at this point… basically I finished painting the Habinger aside from a few gems in her armour and weapon, and if I decide to do a really funky colour for her hair. Otherwise… she may be done! Maybe.

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